Post by kcm on Aug 24, 2011 22:24:20 GMT -5
My wife did a monster house cleaning. We have a first aid kit we mainly look at. She decided to sort through it and soon after she opened the lid came into the TV room with a rather angry tone asking me why we had condoms in our first aid kit.
"You mean you don't remember?" I asked, "no, I don't" she said in a rather cold tone.
About 2004 or so I was working cows by myself. I had discovered I could shove 12 up the really long loading alley, put a pipe behind them and work them ninety to nothing, with the only really hard part being replacing the tags. After doing 50 or 60 this way, one threw her head and mashed my finger against the pipe fence. It broke the end of my finger, split it open, and tore off my fingernail, hurt like a sumbich.
My mother is an RN, I was in intense pain, so I called my mama to come help me. She hauled me to the emergency room, my wife showed up a little later, they sewed me up and sent me home.
The doctor warned me to keep it as clean as possible, everyone here knows how hard that is. My dear mother lives in fear of all types of infections and food borne pathogens(the term she uses frequently at family dinners is to beware of food born pathogens, I can chant that like an auctioneer). She shows up the next day with what she called "special finger dressings" to put on my bandaged finger. Her "special finger dressings" were condoms. She must have had an idea I would not walk around in public with a condom on my finger, so she unwrapped about 20 of them and put them in a sort of hospital container, to make it all look legit, as if I wasn't smart enough to know they were condoms. To be honest, I was too embarrassed to say, "mother, there is no way in hell you are getting me to wear a condom on my finger" and I put them in the first aid kit and didn't use them, for anything( I have to admit, it wasn't really a bad idea, just weird).
My wife didn't remember that, maybe I never told her, she claims I didn't. We are leaving them in the kit, just in case we have an emergency.
"You mean you don't remember?" I asked, "no, I don't" she said in a rather cold tone.
About 2004 or so I was working cows by myself. I had discovered I could shove 12 up the really long loading alley, put a pipe behind them and work them ninety to nothing, with the only really hard part being replacing the tags. After doing 50 or 60 this way, one threw her head and mashed my finger against the pipe fence. It broke the end of my finger, split it open, and tore off my fingernail, hurt like a sumbich.
My mother is an RN, I was in intense pain, so I called my mama to come help me. She hauled me to the emergency room, my wife showed up a little later, they sewed me up and sent me home.
The doctor warned me to keep it as clean as possible, everyone here knows how hard that is. My dear mother lives in fear of all types of infections and food borne pathogens(the term she uses frequently at family dinners is to beware of food born pathogens, I can chant that like an auctioneer). She shows up the next day with what she called "special finger dressings" to put on my bandaged finger. Her "special finger dressings" were condoms. She must have had an idea I would not walk around in public with a condom on my finger, so she unwrapped about 20 of them and put them in a sort of hospital container, to make it all look legit, as if I wasn't smart enough to know they were condoms. To be honest, I was too embarrassed to say, "mother, there is no way in hell you are getting me to wear a condom on my finger" and I put them in the first aid kit and didn't use them, for anything( I have to admit, it wasn't really a bad idea, just weird).
My wife didn't remember that, maybe I never told her, she claims I didn't. We are leaving them in the kit, just in case we have an emergency.
