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Post by MoJeeper™ on Jul 24, 2011 21:27:33 GMT -5
ROFLAMAOWTFDPMPM? ;D
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Post by glowplug on Jul 24, 2011 21:39:53 GMT -5
They sent my Census form back!
In answer to the question, 'Do you have any
dependents?'
I put ....... '12 million illegal immigrants, crack heads, unemployable losers, the cast of The Jerry Springer Show, 140,000 people in our 133 penal establishments in California, leftovers from Katrina, half of Mexico, Some of the Congress, most of the Senate, and a Muslim President!'
Apparently this wasn't an acceptable answer!!!
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Post by glowplug on Jul 24, 2011 21:43:04 GMT -5
I had just come out of the store with two porterhouse steaks, a jumbo sausage, a bag of chips, and a 6-pack of beer. A homeless man sat there and said, "I haven't eaten for two days. "I told him, ‘ I wish I had your frickin' will power."
Top tip: if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex. Wish me luck.....I appear in court next Monday.
A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said, 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'don't worry, you're bound to lose it eventually.'
I was behind a rather large woman at the checkout. She had on a pair of jeans that said, 'Guess.. 'I said, "I don't know........maybe 350 pounds."
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance with a face like that!"
Years ago it was suggested 'that an apple a day kept the doctor away.' But since many doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best.
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently Blacks and Mexicans were not the correct answers.
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