Post by plove on Oct 25, 2011 11:43:36 GMT -5
>> Things to Ponder
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>> 1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
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>> 2. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
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>> 3. Life is sexually transmitted.
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>> 4. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
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>> 5. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.>>
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>> 6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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>> 7. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
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>> 8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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>> 9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
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>> 10. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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>> 11. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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>> 12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?
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>> 13. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
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>> 14. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
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>> 15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
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>> 16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
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>> 17. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
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>> 18. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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>> 19. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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>> 20. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
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>> 1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
>>
>> 2. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
>>
>> 3. Life is sexually transmitted.
>>
>> 4. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
>>
>> 5. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.>>
>>
>> 6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
>>
>> 7. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
>>
>> 8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>>
>> 9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
>>
>> 10. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>>
>> 11. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
>>
>> 12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?
>>
>> 13. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
>>
>> 14. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
>>
>> 15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>>
>> 16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>>
>> 17. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>>
>> 18. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
>>
>> 19. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
>>
>> 20. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
>>
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